Guys, this is terrible. I don’t know who actually reads my stuff but I guess this is for me and my outlet to release my stress and to share my stories. Ok, let me tell you a story.
A long, long time ago.. Cindy wanted to be a dietitian because she didn’t want to wait to be a nurse and she had been watching the BBC show, You Are What You Eat. Cindy was so fascinated by how nutrition can affect the human body and transform a person to feel better about themselves and have a greater affinity for life. Cindy wanted others to feel the same way and feel better about themselves as she did. So she went into dietetics to help others achieve what she did when she went from 150 lbs senior year of high school to 120 lbs for her best friends’s weddings. All with the help of Weight Watchers, I might add. Cindy was definitely high on life and had her goals set.
Okay, enough about Cindy 10 years ago. Let’s talk about Cindy now. Me.
After working as a dietitian in our current healthcare system, I had lost my passion. Working with a group of dietitians was awesome. It was when I left and started working by myself and working with others who didn’t share the same passions. It was much harder to want to do better for myself. It was much harder to feel inspired. It was much harder to fight for what I believed in. It was way easier when I had the support from fellow dietitians who all believed in the same thing. I had a stronger foundation. But that foundation has been stripped down.
I began working for another company where they only care that I get charting done. I come in once a week and make my due diligence and there is no passion. I lost my passion for healthy me. I lost it all. I don’t dance, lost the will to become a personal trainer, nor do I even eat my veggies. A dietitian who doesn’t eat veggies, can someone just scream horror?!
My boyfriend and friend has been trying to grow my motivation level. But ever since I quit a full-time job and started staying home. I have become more and more unwilling to do things outside of the house. I want to stay indoors and feel no passions at this point in time. What is keeping me afloat is that I am going to be having a change in scenery. My boyfriend and I are moving in together in a home he is purchasing. I am hoping the change in scenery will provide some positive changes in my life as well. For being Asian, you sort of don’t leave home till you get married — well it is at least in my household. But I am leaving now. Into my boyfriend’s new place.
Hoping this will help me take charge of my life and not be smothered by a doting mother. Yes, this is definitely a privilege to have parents who don’t want you to leave and want to take care of you the rest of your lives but it stunts the growth of your adult child. It prevents them from being who they truly could possibly become. I am hoping this new change will help revive this never-ending weight loss journey of mine. Currently it’s drowning and needs attention STAT!
This may be a weight loss journey, but it definitely is more than that. It’s the evolution of my life and how life in itself impacts my breadcrumbs from past, present, and the impending future. Hope it’s a good future for me.
Good luck to all of you who are thinking of trying, are in the midst of trying, and doing and continue to act now on this weight loss journey of yours. Weight loss is tough, but it will save lives. For I know, I will feel elated when I do finally commit to and act on bettering myself. I’m a dietitian that knows things about food but yet I struggle too. So the struggle is real — too forreal.
Sorry boyfriend of mine, I know my wishy washy ways hasn’t been the most pleasurable moments of our time together. I am trying to overcome my inner demons of gluttony such as not wanting to eat another slice of chocolate cake and Oreo cookies and Haagen-daaz ice cream and slice of 3 pieces of pizza… well you get the point. Volume of food has overtaken me.
Okay, time to be the dietitian I had always wanted to be. Help others by helping myself for you can’t help others until you good.
Until next time — happy healthy chomping! Onto renewing your vows to yourself!